everything and nothing

I never think it'll happen again, but it does and it's strange and it hurts.

Growing, that is.

I'd put a lot of effort in becoming comfortable with myself and accepting that I am who I am. Embracing it, even. Allowing myself love and adventure and the company that comes along with them. I never thought I'd get to the point where I felt the need to turn myself off.

In deciding to write this I started to reflect upon past hurt and the people I used to say that'd caused it. Now I'm more inclined to take responsibility. I'll never deny myself the way I feel but I've learned that I need to be more cautious. Selfish, even.

The funny thing is: I feel like I've learned this lesson before. That other people will always think of themselves first and that I should do the same, too. That I should always keep myself at a healthy distance.

I don't like this. I don't like gaslighting my own feelings. I don't like stopping myself from loving anyone the absolute most that I can. But I also don't like opening myself up only for others to pretend I'm not there.

Until I find a balance, it's goodbye for now.

office space (part two)

Hydrangeas from Jessi, my sweet boss.
A momento from Handle With Care Shop.

The tiny baby Jesus I got(/won?) from our Mardi Gras king cake.

A postcard from Jess and Luke.

And a dainty little succulent, just because.

office space

After closing in on my second week at work, I can honestly say our office is like a new home. Sure, I'm still learning everyone's names and I don't know where everything is, but the little things really speak for themselves.

Clockwise from the top left: the "New York" conference room (modeled after an actual Airbnb listing), the ever-growing AirFamily tree, the most colorful and healthy lunches (every day!), the unofficial office sport, fresh flowers from my super sweet boss, and morning mimosas in celebration of the London launch party.

And did I mention my coworkers? Wit and kindness at a whole new level. My team especially.

a new beginning

I finally got it. The email.

Less than three days after I spilled my guts to blogland, David and I were heading out to our favorite phở place when I glanced at my email and stopped.

This is the reason why I was still abroad so I couldn't come in to interview for my "dream job"

Why I spent hours in rush hour three times in one week (for one job) only to never hear back again

Why I forgot to send a follow-up email for my other "dream job"

Why dozens of applications were left without response

Why I spent a week on writing samples to only never hear back again (again)

Why a magazine felt "my personality" wasn't the best fit

Why my Excel "Jobs" spreadsheet kept growing and growing

Until now. Do you remember this post? Well after an email last Monday, a phone interview on Tuesday, a three-hour-six-person interview on Wednesday and a last-minute Skype interview on Thursday...

I was offered a position at Airbnb. Which I (ecstatically) accepted.

I'm so excited for this next chapter in my life-- I had to share the happy news. Thanks for stickin' around. I'll try to repay you in delicious sticky recipes.

*Photo from Jess & Luke's, my Airbnb hosts in London.