on being ready

December 31, 2009
the past few weeks have been flying by. i feel like it never really registered that i was flying out until.. oh, 2 days ago? so i've been up packing and trying to figure out what exactly i need without being ridiculous. i'm attempting an all-nighter (so i can pass out on the plane), just like i did the night before i left for greece, but tonight may be a little harder because it's only 3 and i don't have to be anywhere until 8. also, in the midst of packing, i realized all of the stuff i forgot, and the stores that sell them are not open until 9 or so.. of course.

and to get to the real motivation behind this post, i've just been thinking about being ready. i feel like i'm not ready to go and have been thinking "oh, just one more week at home would be perfect." it's hard to leave when i can't bring people i love so much along with me

example:
video
adorable raiza in this video.
she's only 3 months old and i won't be back for another 6.
she's going to be so different when i get back,
and i hate that i'm missing that.

my heart needs time to catch up with.. well, time. but this is rarely the case and while i've been resentful about it in the past, i suppose i've gained acceptance (and maybe appreciation?) for it.

i remember that being ready was hardly necessary to have the best experience. in fact, our lives would be so different if we were able to dictate when we were ready to take on the next challenge. unfortunately or fortunately, this is not the case. i see it as "fortunately"-- scared and anxious as i am right now.

if anything, in the end, this only makes us braver.

talk to you again when i'm on the other side of the world <3

5 comments:

  1. Wow, a 6 month trip!? That's gonna be a LONG, long time. But you're going to have a fun time- I'm sure of it! Good luck on your trip, and don't feel scared or anxious!

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  2. You're very brave for doing this! You'll have a great time & you get to have all that fun time in Europe with your boy! Good luck to you :)

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  3. aw. I know it's hard but think of it as a journey that will fulfill who you are in the end. it's what you love doing :)

    happy new year♥

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  4. Think about it this way, when you get back, you will have so much fun catching up and seeing how everyone's changed (or hasn't changed). It will be great sharing stories over warm meals and recounting dangerous tales of mystery and intrigue in far reaches of the world (or at least, the other side of the globe).

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  5. Ah I know exactly what you mean! Last year, I studied in South Africa and was a nervous wreck in the days leading up to my flight . . . although I was there for 4 months, not 6. Best of luck and hope you're having fun!

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